Travisalm part three
The years of Travisalm in my life left alot of battle scars on me and those around me. Although if you looked at me from the exteroir alot of non believers thought I was ontop of the world, and in some ways I was, but in all the wrong places. I was very succesful in bussniss or rather very succesful in getting lots of bussniss, I could of and did in alot of cases worked around the clock, all my employees loved working for me, I had the abililty to genarate all kinds of money, but........ Really I could not handle all that money, sure could make it but we didn't keep it very long. In alot of ways I couldn't manage a two hole outhouse. I drank like a fish to deal with all the stress of it. My home life was a mess, and I didn't know how to make it any better other then throw money at it. I was emotionaly anept, I never cried, laughed, or really let my self have any joy I was all bussniss. I remember my favrote saying to my wife was; Feelings don't mean a thing in the real world, grow up! Inside Trav's world there was a torn to peices little boy crying his brains out, but I kept him so stomped down the only time you ever saw him was if I was really drunk and I would useally end up crying my eyes out. It's kind of funny My wife hated my drinking but the only time we would ever be able to connect on a emotional level was the few times a year when I would get so drunk I would let the "wall" down, and belive it or not she would like that a lil; but I don't suggest it to any one with a wall problem like I had, it takes thosends of dollers and alot of pain on everyones part and the chances of it working is a bout 1000000 to 1.
In Travisalm my life spirled out of control, every day was a crisis. Everyday I would come closser to the edge of no return. Everyday little by little my morals would dilute. Everyday I would come closer to the flames of hell. I Had became a "hell yeah" man, I didn't stand for anything anymore If you asked anything from me no matter what it was "hell yeah" I would do it. There where alot of people working against me but I thought they where working for me. Its hard to belive that a six foot 280 lb. man could be manipulated by any one but I was like a 280 lb. sack of clay, all for the money. I was probley the ugliest prostatute there was ,hooker for hire, thats about all I was. If they where a paying I would do anything.
Then it all came crashing down, the glass house I was living in was shattered in a milloin peices, all over from Hanna to Tabor, from Calgary to Medicine Hat. My faimily was gone, I was the poorest richman you ever saw. For a while I carried on with Travisalm, But Appleton's couldn't distle fast enough to drowned that little boy, That little boy was thrown a life preserver and a bull horn from a little lady named Linda Hancock, she planted a seed of christ in me, she is a real good farmer, she could grow a 120 busl/acre barley crop in antartica I think. I was living in my shop like a animal, I pulled away from socity, I didn't want to drink anymore, but I did out of habit but it was different now with every drink I took that little boy would be on his bull horn saying "Why are you drinking!" I was chatting on the internet with this girl named "hellspawnsmom" . We would chat for hours everday all day and into the night. We would argue like we where marreied and joined at the hip for 6 yrs. With her incouragement Elana and I started seeing eachother again. The first time we meet was like the very first time we meet yrs ago, I loved her more then ever............................................
In the ending of the Simpson's episode where Homer started his own Religoin, Homer is in a firey enferno, started by his own doing ( he passed out at 11 in the morning on a sunday while smoking a cigar ) and he is saved by the very people he ridiculed; the Christions.
I can relate to Homer there, I was in the same boat he was in and the only thing that saved me was Gods grace. Once I gave my heart to Jesus Its been all " UP " hill, I havn't looked back, except to laugh at how stupid I was, I'm now the richest poorman you ever saw.
In Travisalm my life spirled out of control, every day was a crisis. Everyday I would come closser to the edge of no return. Everyday little by little my morals would dilute. Everyday I would come closer to the flames of hell. I Had became a "hell yeah" man, I didn't stand for anything anymore If you asked anything from me no matter what it was "hell yeah" I would do it. There where alot of people working against me but I thought they where working for me. Its hard to belive that a six foot 280 lb. man could be manipulated by any one but I was like a 280 lb. sack of clay, all for the money. I was probley the ugliest prostatute there was ,hooker for hire, thats about all I was. If they where a paying I would do anything.
Then it all came crashing down, the glass house I was living in was shattered in a milloin peices, all over from Hanna to Tabor, from Calgary to Medicine Hat. My faimily was gone, I was the poorest richman you ever saw. For a while I carried on with Travisalm, But Appleton's couldn't distle fast enough to drowned that little boy, That little boy was thrown a life preserver and a bull horn from a little lady named Linda Hancock, she planted a seed of christ in me, she is a real good farmer, she could grow a 120 busl/acre barley crop in antartica I think. I was living in my shop like a animal, I pulled away from socity, I didn't want to drink anymore, but I did out of habit but it was different now with every drink I took that little boy would be on his bull horn saying "Why are you drinking!" I was chatting on the internet with this girl named "hellspawnsmom" . We would chat for hours everday all day and into the night. We would argue like we where marreied and joined at the hip for 6 yrs. With her incouragement Elana and I started seeing eachother again. The first time we meet was like the very first time we meet yrs ago, I loved her more then ever............................................
In the ending of the Simpson's episode where Homer started his own Religoin, Homer is in a firey enferno, started by his own doing ( he passed out at 11 in the morning on a sunday while smoking a cigar ) and he is saved by the very people he ridiculed; the Christions.
I can relate to Homer there, I was in the same boat he was in and the only thing that saved me was Gods grace. Once I gave my heart to Jesus Its been all " UP " hill, I havn't looked back, except to laugh at how stupid I was, I'm now the richest poorman you ever saw.
posted by scattered seeds at 4:46 PM
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