ever lasting love

Have anyone of you ever tried to stop loving a person? I think out of anger we all may have tried at some point in our lifes. Its impossible I think, " True love is forever" to quote Sam Duvall in second hand lions. 1st Corinthians chapter 13 to me gives me a blue print of what real love is, and thats how i feel about all the people that I love, my wife and sons. corinthians 13;4-7
" love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it is not proad. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth! It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserves. "
I would like to say that i always felt this way, but i can't. Till the lord entered into my life i didn't know what love really was, just thought i did. I thought that i loved my wife and kids with all my heart- thats why i worked as hard as i did,.......... and what happened out of that was work became my god! Work came before everything, work came before my faimly. Its a trap that i think alot of people fall into, and i did deeply, i worked to suport my faimly, so my faimly could have what ever they wanted, but in doing so was never there for my faimly, i never done any thing with my faimly the entire time we were married. i was scared that if i took a single day off i would lose the work that my faimly needed to survive, but by doing so i was really losing my faimly. We work to live not live to work. I'm so sorry Elana for the shithead i was, and wish I would of listened to You and Bernice and make the lord # 1 in my life. So many times in retrospect your mother would talk to me about my problems the working and the drinkin', and i just didn't get it , i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry.
I'm sorry i wasn't understanding to your feelings, i just didn't get it, mostly i thought when you would try and talk to me about what was going on, your where un happy with me couse i wasnt providing enough, so i would work harder, i just couldnt get it.
I'm sorry that i couldn't give you the love that you needed, really in retrospect, i didnt know how to love, you where right and i deservered everything that i got from not loving the way that god intended.
I love you with all my heart and i just prey for your forgivness, and for jesus to heel you of all the wrong in whicth ive done to you, and i prey that jesus will give me the strength to go one being the good man, the good husband and the good father that ive become. I just beg fo you forgivness.

spirtal warfare

I hear some people say " i'm fighting a spirtal battle". What is a spirtal battle? To me it was before i was a christion, a battle inside moral vs. inmoral. But now it seems since i found the lord that discription has changed into somthing totaly different.
My mother in law Bernice I think explained it to me best : " The devil had is claws in you Travis so long, he's goin' do everything in his power, be it lie, tempt, or even cheat to get you back."
Really that is what seems to be happening in my house ( physaical & spirttal ) but it isn't to me a battle , its a all out war, a war of atristion, like the men the fought at Passiondale, its trench warfare. Every time I think I got that sucker beat, BAM he's back either knocking on my front door, back door, calling the house ( old booze buddies ) or bugging my wife & kids. The devil is always there just as the lord is, and it seems to me if i take my eyes off of Jesus for 1 second the devil is there trying to claw his way back into my life. What the devil takes so much pleasure in is seeing my wife and I fight and scrap, he wants to destroy anything that is good between us and make us misrable, lately the suckers been droping tonnes of bait all around me, seems like every peice a paper I pick up or everytime I go on this computer, there is somthing that undermines our marrige, and it hurts but its the past, and I know Elana loves me but why is this here saying the oppisite? Well really the answer is quit clear if I take a step outside the box; the devil knows my weakness's and he is going to play them to the max to wreak what ever he can. The most importent thing is to remember that, even though its real hard some times. I'm not going to let that sucker win, even if it ultamitly kills me.
Does everyone know about when jesus walks on water matthew chp 14 22-32 ( mark 6;45-52;john 6; 16-21) (niv) ? Well if you do or you don't, its somthing you all should read. i really don't get my ultamite inspiration from the miricle of jesus waking on water, he's god he can do anything, but i get my ultamite inspirtion from Peter when he goes out there, he's a human just like myself but as long as he keeps his eye on jesus he can walk on water too. It also inspirse me in my spirtal " war " Im fighting, and rings so true; aslong as i keep my eyes toward jesus nothings impossible, and stuff is great at home, but the second I even "wink" I start sinking into the hot water of hell.

1st time jitters

Well well well, This is my 1st blog, kind of exciting but i have no idea what im going to write................................................................. Guess i'll tell you all about myself and why i'm on here.......... I'm a new christoin that has been done a rocky road to get here, been around the world , saw some stuff, ive had alot of crazy experiances that have got me where i am today. But in retrospect the whole time god was there walking beside me i was usally to drunk to notice but he was, protecting me, or honestly i wouldn't be here today. I want to share them with you all, most will be funny, some will be educational, while others will be tear jerkers but they all will be sinceir and from my heart. Ill also share with you my daily struggles, joys ,what trouble my boys are into, and brag about my wife. Any how hope you all enjoy.