Never give up!

I look back at my life and man I thought I went through alot of challenges and hardships. And I also thought I had alot of highs. But really in my past nothing could compare to my new life as a Christion.
In some ways it has been the hardest most challanging thing I've ever done! In others it has been the most rewarding thing that I have everdone! I had this Tee shirt of a guy bulldoggin" a steer had it for along time, 2-3yrs. It read Chronicles 15;-7" Don't let your hands be weak for your work will be rewarded ". It was cool, I wore it every where. But I don't think I really knew what it meant till now. I thought it meant If I worked really really hard, I would have what ever I wanted, for example ; a nice truck, big house etc......and in some cases I had all these "thing" but no happiness, so I would work harder, we'd get more "things" and belive it or not I was even less happy then I satrted out.
There was somthing missing in the formula. But what? I was doing everthing that I could, even what God wanted acorrding to that shirt. I must not be working hard enough, or be working in the wrong field. I quit chasing drilling rigs cold turkey. Told all my loylal custermers that I was shutting the doors and wont come out for them anymore, and stayed true to my word, and tried a different area of the oil pacth, production and completion end of the oilpacth and bussniss was good over 2 yrs I went from a one man band to a 8 man crew, and I worked hard, life was looking up for us on the outside, but on the inside there was absolote turmoil, our home turned to hell. You couldn't spot happieness within a 100 miles of me .
So exzactly what does that scripture that I read on the back of that shirt mean? In some ways it's cool to have scripture or verses on your shirt. But on the other hand if you don't know what it really means it can somtimes point you in the wrong direction or give you false knowlage, as it did with me. For myself I uselly have to read the whole or magority of a chapter to understand a single verse to the fullest.
2 chronicles chapter 15;
The Spirt of God came upon Azarih son of Oded. He went out to meet Asa and said to him "Listen to me , Asa and all Judah and Benjamin. The Lord is with you when you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you. For along time Israel was with out the true God, wiht out a preist to teach and without law. But in there distress they turned to the Lord, the god of Isreal, and sought him, and he was found by them.

In those days it was not safe to travel about, for all the inhabitaets of the lands where in great turmoil . One nation was being chrushed by another and one city by another, Becouse God was troubling them with every kind of distress. (7) But as for you , be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded. (kjv)( Be ye strong therefore and let not your hands be weak, for your work will be rewarded ).

It funny how one little verse will mean a multitude of things when taken out of it's context! In fact I think that may be one of the enemies tricks to the layman. We should all be wary of what we are sporting even though in Deuetronomy chapter 6;8-9 says

Tie them as sympols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

I believe we should do all that and more but in doing so we must also educate all who see's what it really means.

Lama Rodeo

Have you ever rode a lama? No? I haven't either. Last wednesday My wife Elana went to the horse sale in Brooks, she didn't come home with any horse but got a good deal on a pair of Lamas, $ 10 for the pair.
The next night I hear a heck of a comotion out at the correls, look out side and all three of the boys are chasing these lamas, Colby is hanging of the neck of the one tring to ear it down so Hayden could get on, Will was bring up the rear hanging on a leg, It was kind of like a wild horse race....... They needed my help.
We bucked them Lamas out for about a hour. Next time we do it, I'm going to take some pictures and put them on here, They buck pretty good.
It has also got me thinking of a new rodeo event for kids that just finish sheep riding, and have a couple years to go before they can start riding steers, Lama riding. Probley wont fly but I have a feeling we're going to have alot of fun with them over the summer.

Devine Love

My whole life I scrambled around chasing dream after dream, I worked hard really hard but why? What was I trying to acomplish? Majority of my life I spent drunk, either in spirt or in false hopes. But why? What was that acomplishing?
I look back at myself and deep down I think the only thing that I really wanted was to be loved. To belong somewhere. To have a purpose in life. And I was willing to do anything just to have that. I look back at my boozing, with utter disguest with myself. to be honest the reason I even started drinking in the first place was to be cool, to fit in, to be like my Dad; drinkin beer with me was like a sympol of manhood ( no my Dad wasn't a drunk ). It really had nothing to do with the high ( or low ) of getting drunk, that wasn't cool to me one bit. I can still honestly say that I've never went out with the intention of getting drunk, but just the same was drunk just about everyday to one point or the other. Started out being somthing to fit in to belong then it changed into somthing to do, then it became medicine/ seditive for stress. It became a way of life, all my friends where just the same, its what we did. But really it didn't matter how much or how often it was never enough, my tank was always running on the bottom half, it never could make me happy, booze , the people, the culture didn't love me, it chewed me up and spit me out.
Work; I didn't work to live, nor did I live to work, I really worked for love, I worked for the reconiztion, I worked a built everything in hopes that my faimly would be proad of me and love me back. Sounds stupid " why wouldn't he just love them?" your probly thinking. Well this sounds even crazier , I don't think one knows how to love until he/she is loved. The kind of Love we all deep down desire is a unconditional love, and it's sad to say but unconditional love is what we all desire but we all but conditions on it, we all put our worldy values on it, and as humans we have a hard time even thinking in any other way becouse all we really kinow is the world and it's limitations. Basicly we know what we want but have a hard time giving it.
The only one that is capable of giving that kind of love is God, Jesus, and/or the Holy Spirt. For he has no worldly limitations. He dosn't think humanly, he think's devinly. And he wants us every last one of us, and will forgive us for everything!

Luke chap 7; 36-50

A sinful women anoints Jesus' feet

Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the pharisees house and reclinded at the table. when a young women who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and put perfume on them.

When the pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself " If this man were a prophet, he would know who is toaching him and what kind of women she is- that she is a sinner."

Jesus answered him, " Simon, I have somthing to tell you."

"tell me teacher." he said

"Two men owed money to a certain money lender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had money to pay him back, so he cancelled the debts of both. No whicth of them will love hime more?"

Simon replied, " I suppose the one who had the bigger debt cancelled."

" You have judge correctly." Jesus said.

Then he turned towards the women and said to Simon, " Do you see this women? I came into your house, you did not give me water for my feet, but she wetr my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this women, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she poured purfume on my feet. therefore I tell you, her many sins have been forgin- for she loved much. But he who has been forgivin little loves little."

Then Jesus said to her, " your sins are forgivin".

The other guests began to say amongest themeselves, " Who is this who even forgives sins."

Jesus said to the women, " Your faith has saved you, go in peace."

That scripture speaks so much to me and tells me what devine love is. It also tells me what a Christion really is. A Christion is anyone of us no matter what we where we are all the same in gods eyes, we our all his children, and he loves us all unconditionaly, and we all desire his love.

Its just a matter of realizing that it's him we really desire, Not the drink, not the toys, not the sex. Nothing can filly fulfill that desires for his love, and we are fooling ourselves with everything else.

New Adventures

Yesterday we had lunch after church at our new friends Darcy & Sharah's. It was great! And we started talking about church and stuff.........and they asked me about my story. I went on for a little bit or more like a half hour about what Jesus has done in my life, but I really don't think I answered there question. And somthing has been standing out in my mind that I kind of forgot about or rather my have missinturped. That very next day after I gave my heart to Jesus I woke up with a brand new feeling it's hard to explain. But I just felt as though I was imbarking on the wildest adventure of my life, I had no clue where I was going to end up, or how I was getting there. I just knew it was going to be new to me..... I remeber coming out of my trailer and telling one of my employees about this new feeling. I more or less thought it was a new adventure relationship with my wife, I wasn't thinking devinely atall at that point. I remember him kind of looking at me like what the heck happened to him, and that was the end of it or so I thought............................Hind sight is always 20/20, it wasn't a new adventure It was the greatest journey of my life it was the first steps with my walk with Christ , the real one this time.

I really want to expand on this feeling I had when I was saved, I really want to share with you all the next 7 months that happened after. I'm going to think about it some more and it'll probly be a serise of blogs. I would also like to hear from others who read this blog and see if they also felt like they where starting a new adventure also. If you want you can email me @ trav77nester@hotmail.com

And sorry to my new friend Bruce not Dan from D.A.W i;m horrible with names.
God bless you all

Bridging The Gap

Bridging The Gap

2006

at

Heaven's

Gate

Ranch

Sisika Nation

Augest 26-27,2006

Saterday Augest 26,2006

1:30 pm - 4:30 pm

6:30pm - 9:00 pm

Sunday augest 27, 2006

10:30 am

1:30 pm- 3:30 pm

"Bridging the Gap Ministries" is a non-profit organization formed in January of 2004, proclaiming the gospal of Jesus Christ throughout the surounding area. This project is focused on reconcilition between native and non native people and building relationships. It's a place where you can forgive and be forgivin through Christ and the healing can begin. The music, speakers, and testomnies are sure to change your spirt. This annual festival is made possible by the sponsorship and volenteering of nine bible believing churches as well as generous donations of the people who truely believe that God can vhange lives.

A barbeque will be held on saterday evening and meals will be provided for the campers. Programs and games for the youth will also be provided.

The cost of the weekend has been paid for by our Heavenly Father becouse " with God, all Things are possible"

Please bring your own lawn chair as there will be limited seating.

For More Information Phone:

Heavens Gate Ranch

(403) 734-2434

Bridgeing the Gap

All you "white" guys are all the same! Don't you "Indians" respect anything! You "white" a**hole! "White" guys don't know how to love your faimly!! Why Didn't you marry a " Indain " then!! I should of atleast a "Indain" puts there faimly first!! Go back to your reserve then you "scaw"!!! I will, I hate every last one of you "White"a**holes , all any of you ever do is take and never give, you all take everything for granted!!!!!! Good I hate all you "Indians" your all the same, you all just take everything for granted, and don't respect anything!!!!!!!!! I hate you!!!!!!!!!!! I hate you too!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's hard to believe that two people that love eachother to tears, could talk to eachother like that. But that was kind of a generic fight between Elana and I. When we fought it wasn't just a fight, it was Cowboys & Indains! Why?
Really you probley don't have to look back any further then yesterday. There is a huge culture gap, that is the root coase of alot of misunderstanding. Honestly alot of us in main stream white culture really do have our priorities mixed up. Prosparity and material things is what alot of us gauge ourselves by. Not the love inside the home, its the size of the house, and that is totaly the wrong way of looking at stuff, and really you see examples of destroyed faimlies every where with the guy is left sitting scracthing his head, thinking " What was her problem? I worked as hard as I could, I even built her this big house, she had everything she wanted". Well really alot of us white guys arn't giving our wives what they really want. They want to be loved and feel loved, that is somthing that money can't buy. It's somthing that is earned in the trenches, somthing that you have to work on everyday. It's somthing that most of Indains men have figred out. I didn't figre it out till last year, I was left on the side of the curb, I did work around the clock to try and buy what I had to earn.
So us White guys see these Indians, and look and jugde them with ingronant eyes. We see a lazy Indain living off of socity , wicth is a lie, Indians do work! Some of the hardest working most skilled tradesmen I've worked with are Indians, I've never meet one that wasn't gifted with talent. You hear so many people talking about treaty cheaques, and how the Indians our rapping Canada. You know, I hear these statements coming alot of times from rich ranchers. But really they are no different then Indains on reserves, none of them have problems taking money from Oil companies, for oil leases on there lease land. How is the agreement that they made with the oil company any different then the agrement made years ago with the goverment and Indain bands? I'm sure they wouldn't like it to much if the Oil companies quit paying for their leases and kept using them. Think about it!!!!!!
Them drunkin dirty pigs. Yes there are a few Indains with drug and alcahol problems, but there are a few more white guys with problems too. But all in all there is a big differece. Really in our white socity drugs and alcahol are glorifeid and is not seeing as a problem ( but it's a big problem ) . Drinkin beer is a part of our lifestye, and more often then not if "Billy gets his beer gogles on" its seen as cute, funny etc........it's exceptable, even though its killing people everyday, destroying marriges everyday, destroying bussnisses, destroying lives etc...........
But in Indian socity, by large it's not exceptable, most of the Indains that I know look down at you if you drink. They have figred it out. There are lots of programs out there, bands are educating the people about alcahol & drugs . In White culture, we are inindated with Coors light advertisements, if you went on a reserve you arn't going to see one, your going to see a awearness advertisment.
The gap is pure ingronace, really how many of the white guy's out there spouting of all these racial slurs have ever been to a reserve? Very few I bet. Really In alot of ways Indains have alot they can be angry about, 95% of it isn't there doing. Its the making of white culture. Really if you really take a look at Indian culture they have alot more figred out then the white culture, or atleast the importent bases covered.
A month ago I met a big burley man from Sisika, his name is Toad Munroe. He has started a Ministry called " Bridgeing The Gap ". I really don't know much about it yet, other then this summer he is haveing a gathering out there on his place at Sisika, there is going to be a BBQ, some singing, and some Testamonilals. It really speaks to me I think his ministry is really importent. when I learn more about it I'll defenitly be telling you all about it.

No such thing as a Lone Ranger Christion

I remember shortly after I got saved a contacted a old friend, Clint Humpfrey ( sorry Clint I know I'm probly spelling it wrong). Clint is someone I have always looked up to my whole life. When I was a teenager he got saved and started going to bible collage and really giving his all for christ. Really Clint was a new man, I remember always thinking he was the coolest guy in the world, he was a model, he was a Cowboy, a awsome hockey player etc......... he was My best friends big brother....... and I looked up tp him as though he was mine!!!
We talked for a real long time, he started teaching me a lilttle about the word, and whats expected of me as a Christion, to be completely honest with you I really can't remeber exzactly what he told me except for " Travis, there is no such thing as a lone ranger Christion, you have to find a church, you have to become part of the body of christ". Its funny The only thing that I remembered about what he told me was the hardest thing for me to do!! It wasn't that I was afraid of going to a church or admiting that I was a Christion, it was I had no clue where to start. Clint didn't really tell me what church to go to, he basicly told me to attend a gospal based church, such as the brooks alliance church, But I never did go. I started seaching the internet looking for a "cowboy "like church, I even emailed Rope Myers for a little advice ( he has a mobile rodeo ministry called White Riata ) But I still didn't go to church, as dumb as it may sound I still didn't Know where to start.
I blundered on being the lone ranger Christion, the closest I really came to being part of the church was, chatting online with other Christion, and emailing Clint with question wicth wasn't enough. I was alone- it's hard to explain being in a crowed room with everyone yelling and feeling lonely, but I think thats what a lone ranger Christion is alone. I had fits of depression that would last for days or even weeks- I just was lonely. I would try and dive into the bible, but it was just half of what I needed. You can study the bible all you want ( and you need to ) but your getting only half of the full meal deal.
Then my Grandpa Mike died, It was a grievous time for us all, Grandpa mike was the Iron man of Grandpa's he in almost every way was indestructable. So it was a little shocking. I remember going to the wake, that was the 1st wake I had ever been to, it was one of the hardest things that I ever done. I remember going in and seeing him, he was in peace, it was the 1st time in along time that you couldn't see the pain in his eyes, I then went in the chapel and started preying for him and my faimly for God to give them strength in this tuff time. Well my mom and I where leaving I meet Alvin Penner for the first time, he was the pastor at the duchess mennonite church. I remember asking him how I would prey for grandpa, he told me to just pour out my heart to god. We started talking about prayers and he pulled out a Cowboy Bible to show me the scripture he was going to read. ( check out " and he asked "Do you believe in a higher power?" it explains the signifacants of the Cowboy bible ). My jaw droped when I had saw it. "where did you get that" I think I interupted him, I explained that I had one but lost it and thought one of my boys took it. Well He gave me his, I don't think he knew what a key turn in my life he had catalised but he did. We had the funeral and it was about two weeks latter and I was having a real hard time at home and with morning. I was really reaching out to my mother wicth was really selfish. She told me that she couldn't help me right now and I sould talk to a minister or somthing. So I thought about it I was scared a little, It's real humbling to admit that you have a problem to a stranger, I finaly called up Alvin I really didn't know what to say to him, I mumbled my way threw what was going on in my life. and he wanted to come over I think he came over that night. From the momont that he walked in, it was like I knew him my whole life, we talked , we preyed, he even has been to China, He lifted me up! He invited me to his church. From that night on, it was like someone turned the lights on! Me and the boy's went to church! We loved it there. We started making friends, God has blessed us with good friend. It was like night and day. Thank you Alvin, If it was'nt for you Id probly still be alone ranger Christion.
In John chapter 10, Jesus talks about us as we are sheep, and really I feel as though, as Christions we are like sheep, Happeist in a flock, with others Christions, and Jesus at the gate.
I was inspiered this way, by last nights bible study. And by the new friend that I made today, Dan the welder from D.A.W that for some reason or another I decide to start ministering to. and it turns out he's a Christion too. He Goes To the Imanunual bible chapel, and is also finding it a struggle in the worldly world.

Hookd on fonnicks werks fer me

I really have to apoligize for my spelling and gramer, The spell check dose not come up on the program that I write this stuff on. I think the reason that it dosn't work is our pop up blocker is always on and I want to leave it on- I don't like the garbage that comes up without it! So your stuck with my poor grammer and spelling until I learn to do it right. If you havn't guessed already I really didn't apply my self to academics in school, you where more likely to see me in shop class then english or socail studies. It's funny how hind sight is always 20/20, I sure wouldn't mind being able to spell now.
So please bare with me and god bless you all.

the ligh

Luke 11;33-36
Jesus teaches about the Light within

" No one lights a lamp and puts it in a place where it will be hidden, or under a bowl. Instead he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in may see the light. Your eye is the lamp of your body. when your eyes are good, your whole body is full of light. But when they are bad, your body is full of darkness. See to it, then the light within you is not darkness. Therefore, if your whole body is full of light, and no part of it dark, it will be completely lighted, as when the liight of the lamp shines on you."

I red that about two - three months ago, and I didn't know what it meant so I red it again and again and again, I just couldn't get it! But for some odd reason I knew it was probley the most importent message I'll ever read, it just shouted out at me "you need this". I don't know if any of you have ever experianced anything like that, but I just knew if I figred out what it meant, it would be like the key to the city. This scripture was talking to me, But it might as well been speaking Russain for all I understood of it. I was emailing my friend Clint, asking "what does it mean?", I took it to bible study "What does it mean?" Every one had a explanation But none really sunk in. My study bible explanation reads.... " The lamp is christ; the eye represents spirtal understanding and insight. Evil desire makes the eye less senstive and blots out the light of christs presence. If you have a hard time seeing God at work in your life, check your visoin. Are there any sinful disires blinding you to Christ?" That makes sense to me, makes alot of sense.

All my life I've seen people with there high beams on. It's Crazy if you think about it, any True believer that I've ever seen, all have a radiance about them that just seems to bubble out them. To me thats the light. My friend Shane puts it like this " The ability to walk into a dark cave with out even a macth and fill that room with light." And believe me he can! You almost need sunscreen and sunglasses if you roll with the big Guy.

Travisalm part three

The years of Travisalm in my life left alot of battle scars on me and those around me. Although if you looked at me from the exteroir alot of non believers thought I was ontop of the world, and in some ways I was, but in all the wrong places. I was very succesful in bussniss or rather very succesful in getting lots of bussniss, I could of and did in alot of cases worked around the clock, all my employees loved working for me, I had the abililty to genarate all kinds of money, but........ Really I could not handle all that money, sure could make it but we didn't keep it very long. In alot of ways I couldn't manage a two hole outhouse. I drank like a fish to deal with all the stress of it. My home life was a mess, and I didn't know how to make it any better other then throw money at it. I was emotionaly anept, I never cried, laughed, or really let my self have any joy I was all bussniss. I remember my favrote saying to my wife was; Feelings don't mean a thing in the real world, grow up! Inside Trav's world there was a torn to peices little boy crying his brains out, but I kept him so stomped down the only time you ever saw him was if I was really drunk and I would useally end up crying my eyes out. It's kind of funny My wife hated my drinking but the only time we would ever be able to connect on a emotional level was the few times a year when I would get so drunk I would let the "wall" down, and belive it or not she would like that a lil; but I don't suggest it to any one with a wall problem like I had, it takes thosends of dollers and alot of pain on everyones part and the chances of it working is a bout 1000000 to 1.
In Travisalm my life spirled out of control, every day was a crisis. Everyday I would come closser to the edge of no return. Everyday little by little my morals would dilute. Everyday I would come closer to the flames of hell. I Had became a "hell yeah" man, I didn't stand for anything anymore If you asked anything from me no matter what it was "hell yeah" I would do it. There where alot of people working against me but I thought they where working for me. Its hard to belive that a six foot 280 lb. man could be manipulated by any one but I was like a 280 lb. sack of clay, all for the money. I was probley the ugliest prostatute there was ,hooker for hire, thats about all I was. If they where a paying I would do anything.
Then it all came crashing down, the glass house I was living in was shattered in a milloin peices, all over from Hanna to Tabor, from Calgary to Medicine Hat. My faimily was gone, I was the poorest richman you ever saw. For a while I carried on with Travisalm, But Appleton's couldn't distle fast enough to drowned that little boy, That little boy was thrown a life preserver and a bull horn from a little lady named Linda Hancock, she planted a seed of christ in me, she is a real good farmer, she could grow a 120 busl/acre barley crop in antartica I think. I was living in my shop like a animal, I pulled away from socity, I didn't want to drink anymore, but I did out of habit but it was different now with every drink I took that little boy would be on his bull horn saying "Why are you drinking!" I was chatting on the internet with this girl named "hellspawnsmom" . We would chat for hours everday all day and into the night. We would argue like we where marreied and joined at the hip for 6 yrs. With her incouragement Elana and I started seeing eachother again. The first time we meet was like the very first time we meet yrs ago, I loved her more then ever............................................
In the ending of the Simpson's episode where Homer started his own Religoin, Homer is in a firey enferno, started by his own doing ( he passed out at 11 in the morning on a sunday while smoking a cigar ) and he is saved by the very people he ridiculed; the Christions.
I can relate to Homer there, I was in the same boat he was in and the only thing that saved me was Gods grace. Once I gave my heart to Jesus Its been all " UP " hill, I havn't looked back, except to laugh at how stupid I was, I'm now the richest poorman you ever saw.

Travisalm Part two

At this point, I really don't surscribe to any donomanation, it really scares me. I see so many churches out there, and so many people out there, that are religous, but really not spirt filled, and it puts a bad taste in my mouth. After reading John, Luke and Matthwew, I really have a dislike for the Pharisees of old ( the ones who killed Jesus, to protect there law and way of life .), and of new (Different Churches, that are more concerend about where the cross sits in a church, then feeding the people with gospal.) , they enrage me! On the news we are always now adays hearing about the middle east and the islamic fundamentlest terroists wanting and saying " Kill the infidal!!!!!!" And by God we are over there in the hundreds of thosends fighting ( mostly over control over oil) and dying. But we look right at home on our streets and our churches people making statements like " If you don't surscribe to our belief, If your not married under our house, if your not babtized this way, etc........ Your going to hell!!!!!!!". I don't know about you but I would rather be killed as a beliver, by some crazed islamic terrorest, then live to a ripe old age and go to hell. So who really is making the ultamite threat? Although I havn'nt been studying the bible very long, but I've been searching Jesus's word and nowhere did he say " If you don't belong to ( you fill in the blank) church, you are not welcome in my kingdom." Basicly from my readings and interputations, the only thing that he really wants is our hearts, thats it. The heart is really a big area, the heart does incompass your whole life, all your actions and all your deallings, but its funny that all you really have to do is give Jesus your heart and he fills in the rest of your life, as it was in my case, and I imagine lots of outher people. When I gave my heart to Jesus, I didn't think well I have to stop drinkin' , I have to stop looking at porn, I have to ( all things that are bad and inmoral) etc...... before I'm a Christion, I just out of destress gave it to him, and old things became old and new things became new, I didn't want to drink any more, I didn't want to wacth porn anymore, where I was harsh I became gentle, where I was complacent I became stuidient. There is this guy on the radio that is always saying " Give Jesus all the parts of your shattered life and he will put it back together, better then ever!" He is so right.
John Chapter 11;25-26

Jesus said to her,

" I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"

That there almost sums alot of it up for me. The most important part of being a christion to Jesus; the most importent person in the world; is believing, its not belonging to the right church, its not saying your prayers just right, its not where the cross sits in a church, its not somthing money can buy, its all about believing, its all about Jesus.

Making the jump from thinking human like, to thinking devine like, is a ungoing struggle for me. I really get cought up in the human world. If I was in the garden with Jesus and his friends when he was arrested I would have one uped Peter, I wouldn't have went for the ear I would have went for the throut. I mean it really angers me that he was crucified by these Pharisees, and that anger spills into my out look of organized religoin. But really I need to take a step out of the box and look at it in a devine light, and what really happened. Jesus is God, He died on the cross for our sins, he was'nt killed in what we think of in a human form, you can't kill God! And three days latter he rose again. I really get cought up in his death and forget about the resurrection. When I think of Jesus, I get thinkin' of him as one of the boys, not as a God, I think of him as my friend, and forget that he is God and he isn't like us, he was the perfect man.

Good Friday

Today is Good Friday, this is the first time in my life that I ever know what Good Friday was about. Today a long time ago Jesus died for our sins, and proved how nuch he loved all of us.
It makes me think of bible study on wedsnday we read Luke chapter 22 through 24, and its amazing everytime I read or hear anything from Luke somthimg new sticks in my head. Luke 23; 32-43
Jesus is placed on the cross
" Two other men, both crimanals, were also led out with him to be executed. When they came to the place called the skull, there they crucifid him, along with the criminals- one on the right the other on his left. Jesus said " Father forgive them , forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.
The people stood wacthing and the rulers even sneered at him. They said " H saved others; let him save himself if he is the christ of god, the chosen one."
The soilders also came up and mocked him. They offered him wine vineger and said "If uou are the king of the Jews, save yourself."
There was a written notice above him, which read : THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS.
One of the criminals who hung ther hurled insults at him: " Aren't you the Christ? Save your self and us."
But the other criminal rebuked him. " Dont you fear God?" he said " Since your under the same sentence? We are punished justly for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong."
Then he said " Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." Jesus answered him " I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise." "

Wow that really spoak to me.

Travisalm Part one

Travisalm is some stupid thing that I invented years ago , about four I think. It all started after wacthing a Simpson episode where Homer started his own religoin....... He thought he was pretty smug he pretty well done what ever he wanted to, example instead of going to church on a sunday it was a day to drink beer, and he would call a religous holiday when ever he felt like it....... Well that was the bases of Travisalm, I thought that was pretty good in my books, although Travisalm was a tounge in check way of getting attn. from my wife, (wicth ended up being severe negitive attn,). It was a way of life for me any how, basicly I had just gave all my sinning a name, and was glorifying it in a way that I had no right in doing so.
Its funny how one can belive in God and respect him, but totaly denounce religoin and spirtalality. I hear so many people out there saying " Oh I belive in god, I belive in Jesus etc......But........." there is always a but, always a excuse ( and I had a milloin of them) " God gave us free will to chose what we want to do" Yes he did but he wants us to chose him over everthing else, and if we want his blessing we have to make him first in all cases." God put me on this earth to work and suport my faimly" Yes he did, but he didn't put us on this earth to worship work like its a god, and let work rule us, Isaiah chapter1 speaks of this and what he expects from us. you should give it a read sometime, it speaks loadly to me. " I'm to tired, I have other plans, I'll go next weeketc........" God will lift you up!, What about gods plans for you?, What if next week dosn't come?
I look back at the last 28 yrs of my life I never made anytime for god in it. Growing up I was always told that God is just a chruch for people that are too week to stand on your own. And I thought I could stand on my own, I thought there was nothing in this old world I couldn't do as long as I worked hard. Over the years I acheived un belivable things for my age, made all kinds of money, really by work, had anything I ever wanted.But I was always broke, I was never really happy, I was never really whole, as I'am now.
I belived that as long as I was a nice gentle person, worked hard, and just belived there was a god out there ( somwhere ) I would have his blessing, and really could do what ever I wanted becouse I was a Good guy. And my old ace in the hole was; Jesus forgives all sins so I can do what ever I want couse in the end it doesn't matter. Really that was the frame work of Travisalm. Its hard to belive looking at my church's missoin statment That anyone would surscribe to it, but I imagine milloins around the world see some rightousness in it, I did even though its based on nothing and so thin it couldn't hold air. But I think people are always the "mcguyver" always making somthing out of nothing to save them selves from there own ingronace.
I can't explain what the transformation of ; me :the pretend beliver and me; the true beliver was like or how it really happened, but it was like someone turned the lights on or took the blinders off, I"d like to say I was like Sual Transformed into Pual, and really thats about how rash of a change of course that happened, I was going out cutting Christions down, and now I'm head over heels in love with Jesus and spend more time spreading the word then working, and I did get piled of a few horses last year and knocked silly, but Jesus has never came down and talked to me. the Tranformation just happened, I woke up one mornin and decided I wanted to dedicate my life to Jesus, didn't and still don't know what i'm suppose to be doing, but I just know this is what I'm supose to be doing.
So really Travisalm is a thing of the past, thank God. And I'm off on a new true adventure. But Travisalm raises it's head from time to time or I concieve that it is, and it scares me!!! Just this blog site somtimes scares me; I really have a basment knowlage of the bible and I'm out here sreading the word. What athority do I have to be doing this, I know that Jesus has givin me the athority, but I'm always careful not to overstep my bounds here and when I'm talking to people, some ways I'm scared that I might be selling Travisalm a little, not the word.
Its real funny how God Talks to you or I prcieve he talks to me, I'll be reading the bible and somthing will always jump out at me and stick in my head, and it will always be useful dealing in the common day, or I'll go to church and I know they don't do services just for me but it seems to be that way, the topic will always be about somthing I'm wrestling with. Just like this Sunday Nathon was preaching to me about keeping everything in perspective.

Lord Jesus I just prey too you as a simple man.

I prey that you keep me humble,

I prey that you fill me with your word,

I prey that you keep showing yourself to me,

I prey that you shepard me though the darkness,

I prey that you shepard me through the tuff times,

I prey that you fill my heart with your love,

I praise you for all that is good,

I praise you for blessing me with my faimly,

I praise you for saving me life,

I praise you for everything lord Jesus, everything.

In your name I prey Aman

A breif Long walk with Jesus years ago

This is somthing I don't ever think I'll ever forget, and it really took me about 5 yrs to totaly understand.
It was the summer of 2001, and Elana and I where at odds again, fighting like cats and dogs, she was living up north at cold lake with her folks, and I was down at wardlow living on the old Wilkinson place. I was having a real tough time dealing with all the pain and stress of what was ripping through my life, so I was drinkin' - my age old way of burying pain and stress- But you guessed it it really wasn't working it was making stuff worse for me. And somehow I knew there was a better answer, actully not somehow everytime I talked to Elana, she was going to church, and amazing things where happening in here life, actul unbeliving things- they where preying over her up there, they where cutting demons off her back up there, she was feeling better then ever, except for the fact that I wasn't with her. I didn't belive what was going on was real, I remember thinkin' and telling her " What kind of s**t do you got yourself into " " Are these guys that are doing this to you really excepted by the church?" " demons are a figment of your imagination" " You need to get Yourself into some real help go to the doctor not to church" etc................. The insensetive jack ass that I was, once again was ripping down her fondations with my own ingronce. I'm sorry Elana, This once again just proves what a jerk I was please forgive me.
What was happening in her life was in retrospect real amazing, but I didn't belive it, I even started studing the bible a bit to more or less disprove or argue what she was saying. But its funny about simple truths and the word- YOU CAN NOT ARGUE IT !!!! And she planted a seed in me, and deep down I knew that jesus was the answer for all my pain for all my suffering for all my short comings, Thank you Elana.
I remember it like it was yesterday, I went in to town and to st. Marys rc church, and asked to talk to the father, he was a very nice beared man, and for the life of me I can't remember his name. We went into his office and began to talk, I could tell that he honestly cared about what was happening in my life, he preyed over me, and offered me some advice. " Travis when stuff starts bugging you, go for a walk, pound all of lifes frustrastion into the ground and prey Travis just prey. And what ever you do don't drink anymore the only thing that booze is going to do for you is make you hurt even more".
Well we walked out of the church together, and where standing by the truck together and was talking a bit more and he pointed over to Daiy Queen and said " Why don't you treat your self to a treat" ( in retrospect I think he wanted me to take him to dairy queen for a blizzard) and I replied " Oh i'm going to treat myself to a treat but its not going to be ice cream" said my good byes and headed for the closest liquere store where I bought a flat of beer and and a 60 onz bottle of vodka, and headed home there was another welder staying with me and we were doing what welders do best.
Got home and me and Scooter tore into the booze pretty hard, by 11 pm we had drank it all, and I went to bed, where I decided to take the fathers advice and start preying, and started to cry, so I preyed some more and cryed some more, the harder I preyed the harder I cryed. So I decided to go for a walk " Pound all that hurt into the ground".
So I headed out in the dark (there was no moon and dark as the indides of a cow) south about a 1/4 mile to the main road, and was preying to jesus " help me jesus" and by the time I got to the main road I was feeling pretty good. So I decided to keep on a walking or stumbling as it was. All I was wearing was a tee shirt boxer shorts and my sandals, and if you know the contry I live in and have ever walked on gravel roads in sandles you'll know that I was'nt very intelligent. I headed west towards my moms about 5 miles away shouting out loud helliliehyeh, praize the lord , I was going to walk all the way to my moms it felt so good.................. Well about half way there I was tired, cold and my feet hurt from all the rock getting cought between my sandles and feet, " should I turn around an go home, or is it closer to moms?" I decided in all my drunken brillance that it was closer to moms so I forged a head. And when I got to the cross roads where I needed to turn north I was sort of LOST. The red light of the mirowave tower to the north, was on what I thought to be the south, "Man I drank way to much" and headed south the wrong way! I walked and I walked for what seemed to be forever, I could hear coyotes howling, in the picth black night, and really it was scaring me, I thought all kinds of things it felt as though somthing was stalking me. Where was moms house i didn't think that her house was this far. I thought that I should of went down the creek hill long ago. When I got to Ike Zeers texas gate I knew that I was headed the wrong way, and turned around, and started running mostly out of fear. Dosn't make any sense if you know me, I'm a 6 foot 250 lb ogure that you wouldn't think would be scared of anything , BUT IT WAS REAL SCAREY OUT THERE, I FELT AS THOUGH SOMTHING WAS STALKING ME!!!!!!! All sorts of things where running through my head.
Well about 6 am I finaly got to my moms house and started knocking on my lil siss window to let me in, She asked me what are you doing? " I went for a long walk with Jesus" I replided, and left it as that, she drove me home, probly think what a losser her big brother was.
It took me about 4 and a half yrs to understand the impact of that night, what the lord tried to teach me. How taking the wrong road in life will just get you lost even more, we all have morals and feelings in the pit of are stomachs that urge us to take the right path weather we have the lord in us or not, its just when the devil clouds your judgement either through booze or even jealousy that we make poor decisoin, The key is not to open the door to the devil and let him cload your jugdement and i think you'll take the right path every time.

Temptation

I'm not sure if you all have read Genesis Chapter 19. Thats the chapter about Sodom and Gomorrah Being destroyed, I never read it till about two weeks ago, but it was a story i knew well from childhood, I remember hearing somwhere where a faimly was running for there life and the mom looked back and was turned into a piller of salt, funny what you remember ah?
If your not up to speed on the story maybe have a read of it so you'll fully understand what I'm babbling about.
After I read it it sort of stuck with me and I was sort of chewing on it.
Last week I started what many would call a dream job. For the 1st time in years I became a employee at a local drilling company. All I did there was weld, not in charge of anything but my self, and was compinsated greatly ( about twice the going rate for welders ) the best of everything at my disposal, the shop had everything it was huge about 100'x200' , 10 ton overhead crane, 500 amp welder, every tool you could think of, and if they didn't have it they would get it, state of the art ventalation systym, super clean and best of all not to many people just me and another guy etc.......................
I really liked it there but there was only one thing that I didn't like........ temptation. The other guy there drank, hated women, cused and really from what I took of the situation felt that all his short comings where in some ways justafied, pretty much the definition of what I was not to long ago.
The first day on my dream job I knew that I was going to be battling temptation the whole way. It was sort of a shocker for me to find myself craving a beer, up to that point since I quit drinkin just to go into the patrica hotel would make my stomach turn from the stench of booze I thought the days of me drinkin where long gone. But I thought "hey I got self contol, I made it this far, I can resist it"" this job is just to good to walk away from""whats the worst that could happen"
By day two I knew that this job wasn't for me, I could already feel my self becoming more complacint in my values, and I didn't like it one bit. I'm not sure if all of you can look back at past actions with utter disgust but I look back at what I was and hate it and dont want to do anything even romotely close to my old behavoir, or jeprdise what I have now in any shape or form. It was friday I decide to think about it over the weekend.
All weekend I thought about my great or not so great job. What should I do? Am I strong enough to resist it? etc..........
Then my friend Frank pops back into my life at Clarsolm. It was real great to see him again, I really havnt saw him since last fall so we cought up on whats happening in each others life, and of course we talked quit a bit about the gospal. This and that, and I brought up Lot at sodom and Gromarrah, and then it hit me. One must flee temptation, just as lot and his faimly did, and dont dare look back. God was telling me the whole time what to do ( by keeping this story in my head), I just wasn't paying attention to what he was saying. I should head for the hills in this case, the devil was just using my lusts as bait to recruit me into his service.
Have you guys ever heard of the frog and the hot pot of water saying. Put a frog in a boiling pot of water he'll jump out! Put a frog in a cold pot of water he'll swim around, turn the heat on he'll swim around till you got frog soup! I think thats the devils best trick, it always starts out as " Just have 1 beer." ( uselly turns into about 2 dozen ) or " One little lie wont hurt anybody" ( no body ever thinks about having to tell the 100 lies to cover up the first one!) etc.............................................................................................they go on for ever!
Another thing that sort of stuck with me from last weekend was me and the boys where sitting in the truck on sunday listen to 1140 chrb, and this pastor from Newzeland was a preaching and he said " When your hangin from heaven from a 10 link chain; only 1 of them links has to fail and you'll fall into Hell!" That is somthing that I think will stick with me forever, just another simple truth.

I was at bible study last night and my friend Shane is doingt a six month study on the book of acts, shane is a very godly man, very intellegent, and always has a way of explaining stuff to me , no matter what it may be in a way that I understand. For example he'll read a scripture and relate it to a mack truck. I have alot of respect for him, he's probable the 1st real honost to goodness friend I've ever had, and second to only Elana.
Last night we studied Acts 17; 24-28 ( niv) Its Puals speach to all the philosphers at the Areopagus ( where all the great greek thinkers meet to discuess new ideas). Its pretty cool Id like to share it with you.

" The God who made the world and everything in it, is the lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, becouse he himself give all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made a nation of men, That they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did so that man would seek him and perhaps reach out to him and find him, though he is not from each one of us. For in him we live move and have our being. As some of your own poets have said, we are his ofspring".

I thought that was pretty cool, nothing stands out more then simple truths. Pual Ive been hearing alot about latley seems every where i turn im learning somthings about him. He really fasanates me.

And he asked " do you belive in a higher power"

Last summer if you ask me how it was I really couldnt tell you. It was the worst of times and yet it was the best of times, i really cant determe what it was. But man oh man did i have a lot of lows. after i had quit drinkin i fell into stages of deep depression, whicth really sucked. I couldn't deal with anything, I lost every thing I didn't have any fondation I which to stand on, really i lost my faimly, lost my relationship with my father, all my so called great friends ran for the hills never to be seen again. i was alone ........................or so it felt.
When they say once you become a christion you are reborn, in lot of ways last summer i was, I was just a meer infant when it came to the simplist stuff. I would cry for hours for no real reason. i was lost i had no direction, i didnt know what i wanted anymore, all i really knew is i wanted my faimly back and i wanted the pain to go away.
Elana and I started rodeoing pretty hard, kind of strange for a devorcing couple to all of a sudden start doing stuff together but we where. I was great I loved it pretty soon thats all I wanted to do, was spend time with my faimly, thats the only thing that made me happy, the only thing that made the pain go away. But really it was just like a addiction, I relyed on them for my happiness, it got to the point that with out them I felt useless, unneeded, Really with out them I had decided that there was no point in me exsisting, if my faimly didn't want me what was the point of me being around. I'm sorry Elana it was a huge burden that I burdened you with, Thankyou for being there for me when I needed you.
With the total loss of direction, I yearned for it more and more. I knew i could go back to my old ways, the drinkin , the workin, the partying. But i did not want that. I wanted no part of what help destroy my marrige in the first place. I would cry out to god for him to help me, to show me the way, what I was supose to be doing. All that seemed to go out in vein untill oneday at a rodeo.
It was at the Nanton FCA rodeo. I had gone there with the boys Elana had to work so she couldn't go. I had one bad run, horse bucked me off in the box, got the wind knocked out of me ( I'm a bulldogger ) then went out and rode by my steer. I wasn'y very happy with my self, Iwas really feeling sorry for my self. I remember standing by the fence pretending to wacth the rodeo. But really i was in a deep preyer or meditation, thinking to my self " God why am I such a f**k up? there is nothing I can do right, I wreaked my marrige, I ran my bussniss in the ground, I can't bulldog to save my life, who am i kidding what good am I? What do you want of me? What is my purpose in life ? Why am I even here?" etc............
Then a Guy that I had meet a couple rodeos before didn't really know him just his name ( Frank ) and he also bulldogged. " Do you belive in a higher power?" I was stunned, I didnt know what to say. I studdered a bit " uh yeah ". Thinking to my self " what the heck just happened?" We talked for a little bit then he went to his trailer and gave me my 1st cowboy bible , and told me to start in john.
That day really changed my life forever. Even if I didn't belive in jesus before that I think I would of had a change of heart that moment.
God I think used Frank as a vessel of truth to reach me, to direct me, to speak to me. I was finaly from that momont on on a lot better footing, with all the knowlage i'll ever need in my hand the bible.
Thank you Lord Jesus, for being there for me and everyone,I got you and only you to thank for all that is good in this world. in your name I prey Amen.

Deuteronomy 6;5-9

Deuteronomy 6;5-9 (niv)
Love the lord god with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength. These commanandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as sympols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Karen a lady from bible study showed me this scripture, it rings well in my head. I thought I would share it with everyone else.